Kevin, a service manager at a small-town auto repair shop, got to see a clear display of the “cause of” side of that phrase well. Here’s his story:

“One morning, I get a call from a longtime customer who we like to call Crazy Kate (note: name has been changed for privacy’s sake), and she tells me that she has a flat tire. I told her that once she gets the spare on it, she could swing by and drop it off for us to check out. Not five minutes later, she calls back: ‘I have to admit something: I drove home drunk last night with the parking brake on.'”

If you’re like me, readers, you may have seen YouTube videos of compilations of scenes that meet the “WTF?” criteria from shops the world over. If not, just type “Just Rolled In” into your search bar on YouTube, you’ll see what I mean. We’re talking everything from oil that hasn’t been changed since Clinton was in office, to cars that honk the horn, squirt the windshield washers and turn on the dome light every time you signal a left turn. Chalk this one up as another lesson. As Kevin said, “Needless to say, one area of the tire was burnt right off.” Not doubting that for a second. I’m sure that there was a who-dun-it drag mark trail from the party to wherever Kate’s hooptie wound up parked that night.

Don’t drink and drive, folks. It’s a stupid idea no matter what. Hopefully Kate’s flat-spotted tire was the clue she needed to get her things in order.

BangShift’s Unknown Parts Counter Guy is at the counter and is ready to hear your story. If you’ve got messed-up takes from your time behind the parts counter, working in an automotive repair shop, or any other field that’s related to automotive service, share your stories! CLICK HERE to submit your messed-up moments. And don’t worry, we’ll leave your name out of it if you want.

The post Unknown Parts Counter Guy: The Regrets Of The Next Morning appeared first on BangShift.com.

Peak times tends to mean peak stress. When you don’t have parts on hand and you have a customer who is trying (and failing) to keep from taking their bad day out on you, that sucks. When you’ve got thirty people waiting in line and four people able to help anyone at the moment, that sucks. But when someone on the team isn’t pulling their weight, that doesn’t just suck, that’s grounds for a response. There is nothing more irritating than someone who isn’t pulling their weight when they are needed the most. If they are just some lazy screw-off who is on their fourth smoke break of the hour, the solution is simple: bring them into the office, calmly explain to them that they are more useless than a torn plastic bag floating along in rainwater run-off, and cut your losses. If they don’t want to work, that’s on them. But what do you do when the worker is actually a decent individual but doesn’t have their priorities quite right? Maybe a gentle hint will help them along.  I’ll let Mitch tell you his story:

“I worked in the phone room of a high-volume South Jersey jobber/WD in the 1980s and 1990s. The phones rang all day long, and there was no call management or voice mail; they just rang until someone answered. One of our best, most experienced counter clerks was GREAT… at doing exactly ONE thing at the same time! When they  got a call (from one of his many important, loyal, and high-volume customers), he would stay on the phone while he looked up every part in his rack of catalogs, verified inventory, and wrote the invoice… no matter how busy the phones might be. He pretended he couldn’t hear the phones ringing. The rest of us had to pick up the slack for him, every damn day.

One morning before he arrived, I unscrewed the earpiece on his phone, cut a few pieces of paper to fit inside, and screwed it back on. That first day, he asked a few callers to speak up, but overall the paper didn’t seem to have much effect. So, the next morning, I put at least a dozen pieces of paper in there. The second day was GLORIOUS. He kept yelling into his phone:

“Can you SPEAK UP?”

“I’m sorry, can you SPEAK LOUDER?”

All day long, until he was blue in the face, and of course the customers (and everyone else in our store) could hear him yelling at them at full volume. It never occurred to him to try another handset.

At the end of the day, I stopped at his desk, unscrewed the earpiece, took the paper out, and handed it to him.”

Thirty-ish years later, and you can probably still hear the sound of a simmering forehead from the embarrassment. In reality, it’s not about their ability to do their job. By far and large, that kind of dedication to customer service would be a welcomed relief for managers. But to use a meme-worthy phrase: “read the room!” If there’s one ringing phone and everybody else is on the phone, okay, full workload, not much you can do about it. When that situation is going on three, four hours, or all damn day, maybe figure out how to be succinct and cut the conversations a bit short? Rolls-Royce service for Chevrolet-level customer numbers never works out.

Thank you, Mitch, for sharing your story with us! But the fun shouldn’t be limited to just one individual…If you’ve got messed-up stories from your time behind the counter, as a service advisor, or any other career in the automotive service field, share them! CLICK HERE to submit your messed-up moments…and don’t worry, we’ll make sure that your name is left out of it.

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For the record: I’m not Batman, Superman, Spider-Man, or any other superhero whose likeness is liable to get be sued for copyright infringement. But I’m back. And I’m back with a major chip on my shoulder because I’ve spent the last few months leading up to the holiday season hearing the same thing, over and over and freaking over again: “Supply Chain Shortages”.

Let’s rewind the clock to early 2022. Things are bright, things are cheerful, then…well, a loaded International stake truck full of festering, bubbling, steaming shit was sent through the turbofan of a Boeing 747 running at takeoff RPM, leaving everything covered in a Jackson Pollock-style nightmare that wasn’t going to go away anytime soon. While we were legitimately concerned about the health of humanity, while we were being told to “stay safe, stay home” and while I had to put the mask on over the bag whenever I was outside of my cave (yes, really), somewhere along the lines common sense packed up, walked to the door, yelled, “So long, suckers!” and jumped into the back of a pickup truck. Three years on, we’re still trying to return to something resembling “normal” and Lord only knows when that’ll happen.

So what does the pandemic have to do with your parts order not showing up to your door three days after you’ve given Amazon or Summit your credit card information? Well, it goes like this: the world was asked to stop dead in its tracks. The whole world came to a grinding halt, in an move not seen since the Black Plague. And that isn’t even a fair comparison, since manufacturing was not a consideration back then. So everything, from the miners who dig the ore out of the ground, to the freight industry who package up your exhaust system, paused. That kind of reset takes time to come back from. Add in issues like government regulations regarding entry and exit to ports, concerns about certain regions of the world, political drama, inflation, and everything else, and yes…in short, things are TARFU.

None of this is a surprise. We’ve had years to come to terms with it. So please, do yourself a favor and spare the workers all of your bitter bitching about your parts taking forever to show up. We heard enough of it for the last couple of years. If we have what you need, we will get it for you. If we don’t, we will order it for you. And if you need your Depends changed, go somewhere else, we don’t care. Just like you were told (or should have been told) as a kid, “You’ll get what you get and you won’t get upset.”

BangShift’s Unknown Parts Counter Guy is back! But the fun shouldn’t be limited to just one individual! If you’ve got messed-up stories to share from your time behind the counter, as a service advisor, or any other career in the automotive service field, share your stories! CLICK HERE to submit your messed-up moments…and don’t worry, we’ll make sure that your name is left out of it.

The post Unknown Parts Counter Guy: Patience? Yeah, That’s On Backorder, Too appeared first on BangShift.com.

The Internet did bring us information, but instead of using it to enlighten us, people weaponized that information. Suddenly, because they saw it on a website, it must be golden. They must know all. They must have every finite detail of what they are handling. And let me tell you, that gets really freaking irritating when I have a customer who is trying to hand in a return part that must have been kicked out of a pickup truck’s bed on the Interstate during rush hour. “The bearings in these tend to fail after it gets too hot.” That’s a good one. Or maybe, “This is what you get when parts stores get cheap-ass Chinese parts.” Fantastic stuff, sir. You are a god among men. We’ll just ignore the fact that after this water pump “slipped” out of the back of your Chevy due to the whole Carolina Squat thing, that it only stopped pinwheeling along the asphalt when a Kenworth hauling an aircraft engine ran it over. But no, tell me again how your purchase of a “cheap-ass Chinese part” is my fault, okay?

And the detail-obsessed, the ones with 30 million questions. Oh, you are a real treat. No, I don’t know the exact count of windings in the alternator you are purchasing for your 2010 Corolla. My point in this conversation can be summed up in five letters: IDGAF. This is a remanufactured alternator. It has been broken down, inspected, repaired, tested, put into a box, and you got a discount on the price over a new unit. Be happy, give me the money and please, go buy the kid an ice cream cone before he goes into a thermonuclear tantrum that neither one of us wants. Are you the type that is concerned where his coffee beans come from? Is there a “Shop Local” sticker on the back of your Hyundai? I grind my teeth sometimes listening to customers who want the life story of their part. One of these days I’ll snap. “Look, man, it was handmade by a twelve-year-old in a village whose name sounds like that noise that is made when Gordon Ramsay falls down the stairs while carrying all of his pots and pans. The kid will get three cents out of what you paid. Thank you for shopping here. Have a nice day.”

Use the ‘Net for good. Get advice from knowledgeable people and good forums. Look up historical documents that caring individuals have taken the time to scan in for your use in perpetuity. Check and see if we have a part in stock and if not, please, search for the store number, call us and place the order so that when you do finally get here, we have what you need, ready to go. But don’t come in acting like you are Wikipedia crossed with the 1983 service manual for your car.

The post Unknown Parts Counter Guy: Hold On, Sir, I Have The Engineering Blueprints In The Back appeared first on BangShift.com.

You parts guys and gals know that the #1 mantra of the phone is that you “DO NOT TRY TO DIAGNOSE OVER THE PHONE”. It’s life. You just don’t. Nothing good comes out of it for the customer, the company or your hide. But the tech advisor does just that, day in, day out. Phone calls, emails, live chats on the Internet like it’s the year 2000 and you’re in the middle of an AOL chat room. Well, maybe not exactly like that…if you’re the customer and the tech types in, “A/S/L”, you should probably try a new company. But I’ve been interacting with some of these poor souls and they are your kindred spirits. The only saving grace they have is there is no face-to-face interaction, so as a last resort, they can hang up, take the ass-chewing from the boss, and move on.

One group I deal with is involved with remote tuning of cars for customers. Building a startup tune for someone’s car to fire up and baseline off of is pretty easy…answer a few questions about the underhood combination, do some quick math, make sure everything is connected properly and you should hear some thumpity-thump goodness that you can proceed to tweak on. But some of these customers have been watching way too much street racing reality television and 1320Video clips and want that demon tweak that will earn them their meal ticket on the gravy train. There’s names for these tunes. Here’s a few that are actually legit. Some are customer-named, some are from the techs who could not believe what was being asked of them:

11. To The F***ing Moon, Alice! (radical N/A LS)

10. The Kamikaze (nitrous LS)

9. Blitzkrieg Bang (BMW S85 V-10)

8. She’s Gonna Be Pissed… (LS TT)

7. What’s Another PSI? (BB Chev with an 8-71 on alcohol)

6.  Put A Windoooow, In The Wall! (1990s GM LT-1)

5. Big Power, No Whammys! (Subaru EJ with big turbo)

4. The Foie Gras Method (this one was tuned for 58 PSI of boost on a 408 Chrysler. Damn.)

3. Seppuku (Honda K24A1, turbo, E85)

2. Recipe For Piston Soup (big-boost Toyota 1JZ)

1. The Major Tom Tweak (nitrous Ford Coyote)

The post Unknown Parts Counter Guy: Top 11 Names For That Killer Tune appeared first on BangShift.com.

One vehicle is in the middle of major suspension renovations. We’re talking well over $800 in parts alone, plus downtime, plus the fun of dealing with an owner who is quickly losing patience regarding their baby not being drivable. During teardown, it became evident that the front shocks had never been replaced. Not once, not ever. Well, there’s no time like the present, and the expense was easily justified and approved, so a run down to the nearest store coughed up a set of Monroes that would do the job just fine. And I believed that right up until I got back to the shop, and realized that one end of each box was stealthily taped over….

The first box opened produced a shock that had already been installed on something. Maybe it was bolted on and taken right back off or maybe it’d been on a week before they decided they didn’t want it anymore. Either way, there is no doubt it wasn’t the new part that was requested. The grease application didn’t help, either. So, already incensed, I opened the second box. The shock looked installed as well, and just like the first one, the hardware kit was broken into. Unlike the first box, however, some of the hardware was missing.

You ever heart the phrase that sounds like, “…or live long enough to become the enemy”? Yeah, that was me when I was driving back to the shop, soaked to the bone thanks to torrential downpours, in a borrowed vehicle that smells of dead ladybugs and has a leaking windshield. That was me when I laid everything bare on the counter without saying a word, waiting for the clerks to draw a conclusion. How did this happen? Usually, it’s an unscrupulous customer trying to pull a fast one on a new kid in the hopes of getting a full refund that they wouldn’t normally be entitled to. This is why returns are supposed to be inspected before being accepted. I was the sap that got somebody’s oversight.

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Well, I want to have a new laugh. And I’m about to have it at the parts guy’s expense.

If there is anything about the COVID-19 pandemic and the situation that we are all in that annoys me more than staying at home, sipping cold drinks from the comfort of the hammock on my back porch in the middle of Corn Field, BFE, it’s every dork that’s cheerleading themselves as “essential”. Now, I want to be clear: This isn’t about medical personnel, food production specialists, care providers, truckers, or anybody who is genuinely needed to work during this insane stretch of history. To you all, I thank you and keep up the great work. But for everybody who thinks that just because they have to come in to work means that they are on the same level, news flash: you ain’t. You’re lucky to be working at all, regardless of the social distance guidelines. Lots of people are on full hiatus and are worried about what’s next.

Why am I so worked up and why does it involve the parts people? Parts stores are considered essential because vehicles will need parts when they break, regardless of whether it’s the ambulance, the patrol car or your 1988 Chevy Nova that just snapped a drive axle. And from what I’ve seen over the last few weeks, a lot of y’all behind the counter have developed quite a chip on your shoulder about being “essential”. It’s one thing to make the jokes. But here’s where I want to step in and remind you of your place in the world:

If you aren’t willing to run codes or even go outside to assist a customer but have no problem bringing out curbside delivery, shut up. And if that’s your company policy, then your company can cram it too. If you’re so essential, then surely you won’t have any problem with helping other essential workers in keeping their vehicles on the road? Plugging in a code reader and providing a list of OBD-II codes takes just a couple of seconds and does not have to be a close-proximity event. Since I’ve seen plenty of workers wearing masks and latex gloves, this should be a no-brainer. You don’t know if the customer is a hospital worker, a trash truck driver or Joe Blow from down the street. You just know that they asked you for help, and you…you refused to help them by doing a part of the job you would’ve normally done any other day of the week?

You’re essential? Please. You’re replaceable in half a second, and if you don’t think so, think about everyone else who got fired or quit. What were the managers doing right away? That’s right: digging up a replacement out of the databank of applications. So either do the job properly, or vacate the position for someone who will. Collect your unemployed paycheck and yelp about how you weren’t being treated fairly or whatever you’ll tell anyone else. If the fast-food workers can manage to find a way to keep serving up burgers and fries during all of this, you can be bothered to stick a reader into an OBD-II port for someone worried about their mode of transportation.

And before you call me out for not working, remember: I left the counter nearly six years ago now!

The post BangShift’s Unknown Parts Counter Guy: You’re About As Essential As Lavender Oil appeared first on BangShift.com.

So, to celebrate the day, I’ve put together a Top 11 list of workplace pranks that may be on the table, and I’ll give you my opinion on whether they are acceptable or not. Some are suggestions from UPCG followers on the Facebook page, others I’ve simply dredged up from the Internet. Feel free to leave your opinions in the comments section below!

11. The Wrap Job

A classic. As much Saran Wrap as it takes to turn someone’s car into an early Christmas present. Hey, it’ll stay fresher, longer!

Harm factor: low.

10. Engine First-Fire Fun

There’s having fun, and then there’s being a world-class smart ass.

Harm factor: Low…for the prank-ee. The prankster might have one coming, though.

9. Going Out Of Your Way For Vengence?

“You can ask for empty Boston creme donuts and fill them with mustard/mayo blend. One of the mechanics at the old shop thought it was egg salad donut and finished it.” -William G.

Harm Factor: Pretty sure that’s worth an ass-beating.

8. Oooh, pretty colors!

Washable acrylic colors, balanced on the wipers. Turn wiper switch on without power, wait until they leave, hope they don’t notice before they start the car.

Harm factor: …I actually wanna try this one out. Low harm.

7. Whoops. Dropped it.

Sugar glass! Not only will they hit the roof that you broke glass, but the expression on their face when you eat a shard of it will be priceless. If you can make enough into the shape of door glass or a rear-view mirror, you’re set, man.

Harm factor: none. Have a ball!

6. It’s a Blast!

The only reason you aren’t getting the video is because the resulting nudity isn’t permitted on BangShift. But trust us…you couldn’t get your own pants off faster if you had a Victoria’s Secret Angel giving you that look.

Harm factor: Low…if there are no phones around. So…medium. Your butt is gonna be on YouTube, for sure!

5. Now *THAT’S* an attention-getter!

Courtesy of Richard S.

Harm Factor: High. Nevermind the ringing in everybody’s ears, think about Bob’s pants!

4. It’s Like Hand Sanitizer, Right?

So much for your reputation. Go pour that back into your 55-gallon drum from whence it came.

Harm Factor: Extreme – Don’t mess with the hand sanitizer this year! Bad things will happen.

3. What’s That Smell?!

I’ve personally been a recipient of this nasal horror story. Could gag a maggot.

Harm factor: High, even higher if you are found to be the sprayer. Bodily injury may result, and you will be customer-free for at least the rest of that day.

2. The Veggie TrayAt least someone eats healthy around here.

Harm factor: Low, but mob rule may dictate otherwise.

1. The Unspeakable

Harm factor: GUARANTEED. And I’ll fire your ass afterwards.

The post Unknown Parts Counter Guy: A Top 11 Of Worksite April Fools’ Pranks appeared first on BangShift.com.

Except there is one final, late hitch in this program: one wheel won’t fit over the hub register of the new rotor. You check the boxes…that’s the right part number. That’s the part number that matches your car. Your brain flashes through everything…you looked up the part, you made the order, you double-checked everything. Something isn’t right, though. One of these rotors is right. The other is just that much off. So you call the store. You aren’t going to get this put back together, but if you can fix the problem, then it’ll be maybe thirty minutes tomorrow. That won’t be too bad.

In this situation, here’s what should happen: bring in the questionable rotor, an old rotor to take measurements off of, and the receipt of the transaction. Prove that the questionable rotor is, indeed, the wrong one, and work out terms for a mutually beneficial trade, either by warranty or by a one-for-one deal. It’s pretty straightforward. It’s not like you boxed up an old, rusty rotor and tried to pass it off. Or you aren’t trying to trade in a six-lug rotor that you claim is for a 1994 Dodge Shadow. You just want the part to fix the car.

Now, on this phone call, imagine explaining all of this to the other end of the line. You’re clear, you’re concise. And the response goes something like this:

“Okay, man, let me get this straight: you had the part number, you looked everything up, you know what car you have and you wound up with the wrong rotor? I’m sorry, man, but that’s your fault, not ours. You understand?”

Now, you didn’t assign any kind of fault to this scene. You just wanted to get the right part. But to have the voice on the other end of the phone blame you for what seems to be an obvious mis-boxing? No, son, that won’t do one bit. I normally wouldn’t advocate public embarrassment, but in this case, game on. If it were me, I’ll show up with the problem rotor, the old rotor, and an attitude that can be seen from space. Get that micrometer. Measure that hub. Tell me the difference between old and wrong. Now go find me the right item. Order it in. Cross your arms, wiggle your nose and blink for what I care, just make it appear. And until that hot little number is in my hands, let’s teach you a little lesson for your caustic attitude and obvious disregard for customer satisfaction. You know your store’s jingle? Good. Start singing. I want everyone to think that you have that advertisement on repeat! No, you know what…that’ll annoy me more. Oh, you’re gonna call the cops because I’m “making a scene”? Okay, have it your way. It’ll take them ten minutes to get here. Until they do, you better wait on the customers out front hand-and-foot as if you’re making a six-figure salary for the privilege. I’ll be right behind your shoulder. I want the cop to spend a good amount of time writing up the arrest report.

“Individual was handcuffed and removed from the store. The entire time he was barking commands at store worker, demanding that he smile more, say “sir” and “ma’am” and to hurry up with the product searches. Individual required a sedative to calm down before he was removed from scene and taken to (jail) for processing.” The body cam shows a different take: three burly officers dragging a giant man wearing a bag on his head, screaming at the top of his lungs: “YOU BETTER WISH HER A NICE DAY AND A MERRY CHRISTMAS, YOU SORRY SACK OF…”

Anybody got bail money handy?

The post BangShift’s Unknown Parts Counter Guy: Bad Choice Of Words, There, Hero. appeared first on BangShift.com.

Work doesn’t always suck. There’s the days where you and your compatriots have to dive back to the far end of the parts racks so that the customers don’t hear the laughter. There are the days where that one uptight pain in the ass wins the customer lottery and draws the “sweaty, no-shirt Cajun guy” card and you’re biting through your tongue to not laugh out loud. There’s the days where one guy walks around with a broom cocked back like he’s about to bash one out of the park at Wrigley Field because there’s a fly in the building that is seriously bothering him. All fun, all good…the more laughs at work, the better. Those are the days where it’s not too bad at work, the days where you almost like the place. Almost.

One great source of humor you can find in the shop? Just look at the part numbers. See below:

Ah, the classic, Fel-Pro p/n 35643. Call your local parts store and ask them to explain the shape of the Toyota Tacoma’s water pump to make sure that you are getting the correct part. Apparently the same can be said for a Nissan RB-series engine as well. Okay, that’s a basic laugh, but there’s more. Moving on…

This one is my personal favorite, grape-scented rear-end lube. WAIT…I meant “rear axle lubricant”. Don’t go where I think your mind went. GM actually sells this, so the rear end of your Tahoe will have a great smell after you work it to death. Nobody has ever been able to give me a straight answer as to why the grape scent, but at least it doesn’t smell like most other gear oils…you know, like some college kid’s bathroom after his first time getting blacked-out drunk while eating at a Indian restaurant.You’ll have to look carefully to find the hexadecimal calibration code for these commonrail diesel injectors. The one on the right is one thing…the other is an activity I wish more people would attempt before they come into the store on those hot, muggy afternoons. Calibrate that.

I…I’m not saying one word. Moving on…these next few gems are all from the same source: Nissan. Did nobody notice these products at all? Not one person picked up a box for quality control, looked at the box, and had a laugh? Yeah, there’s maturity, but c’mon…nobody looked at that and thought about getting some buffalo chicken strips for lunch, now did they?

From the land of awkward moments with the customers over restoration parts for an older Skyline…

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